13. in the search of purpose...

Category: Career and Purpose

13.

The role of playfulness in our life,
and why often we do not feel like ourselves.

​

Playfulness is not just for children. It is important for all of us - especially as grown ups. We often see in coaching that our playful side is something that -  as adults - we start regulating, censoring, allowing only at certain times on certain occasions. So let me say that again, playfulness is a part of us that we must stop shutting down if we want to be really ourselves..

‘But actually, Elina, I am playful all the time.’ Are we though? Because in many coaching sessions, when we start talking about our passions or what brings us true joy, we realise one thing - as adults we have constructed a different definition of play for ourselves. Conditional playfulness.

The most common things in coaching sessions are:

• "Well of course, I am playful - I do fun stuff." However, doing fun things like watching movies is not the same as being playful.  Playfulness includes fun but is not limited to that.
  
• "Well, I am not sure what that really means."  Such an honest statement to start with. The thing is, playfulness is our most natural state when we are younger. It is a feeling and a state of being, rather than something we actively pursue.
  
• "Well, I like signing, writing, etc. - I feel playful when I do it - but don’t have time". Later in life our playfulness transitions to a domain where it feels safe to be experienced - our hobbies. Why? Because playfulness has an element of failure. And as we grow up, most areas of life become risk-intolerant and guarded against looking stupid. 

I see. We filter ourselves. Does this have to do anything with feeling stuck?
    It does! Let’s talk about that…

​

---