50. things to my young self... (3/5)

Category: Career and Purpose

21-30. 

Things about career and purpose that
​I wish I could tell my younger self.

Looking back after 20 years of experience of working with people, this is what I would tell myself:

21. There are jobs and then there are callings. They do not need to be the same thing.
Do what you love, love what you do is one of the most common quotes on Instagram. And also the one that will do the most damage to your perception on how your life should be. It sounds appealing, but your purpose and your career do not have to be the same thing. And very often, this is for the better - do not let the internet fool you.

22. Know when it is time to leave a place.
You will build friendships at work. You will make yourself feel safe and comfortable. You will be recognised for what you have done. And all these little threads will tie around you holding you in place.
But when your heart and soul call you forward, you must be willing to cut these ties and venture into open seas. This is what ships are made for. New lands are never discovered at the same shore.

23. Invest in yourself. Always and in all ways.
If you could remember only one thing from our little conversations, let it be this one. You are your biggest investment. Not your work, not your business, not your promotion, not your performance review. These things will come and go and the only thing they have in common is you - your growth and your health. So invest in yourself. Always and in all ways.

24. Take the difficult conversations. It will help you grow.
You will be faced with conflict more often than you would like. And if you think you have not been in conflict with anyone, you are lying to yourself. Choose to take the difficult conversations early on. Do so with kindness, calmness and most importantly - choose to have the difficult conversations because of yourself. Because it will grow you.

25. People avoid conflict, especially at the workplace.
And you will avoid it too. Particularly when there are many things on the table and tasks to get done. Avoiding conflict makes people feel better about themselves because we get to keep our nice image but it also disregards the experience of the other person. Conflict that has been avoided for too long is most often the source of what we call toxic dynamics and there is a point of no return.

26. Find yourself a mentor, a coach or someone who can guide you.
In the old days, you would learn a craft from a master. But the mechanics of a job is only one part of the learning. Now we need to put in our personality and our personal skills. A manager or a leader is not the same as a mentor or a coach. They may not always be able to help us to grow the same way that a coach can hold space and accountability for our dreams and goals. My greatest achievements have always come after deep work with senior coaches. They have held focus on the North Star and where I want to go, and being the greatest cheerleaders and accountability partners along the way. Then my managers have become stepping stones I can lean on in the journey but not the only resource.

27. Learn about investing your money and budgeting early in life.
Having savings will give you peace of mind. It will let you take more risks in life and will allow you to focus on what matters to you. Learn the habit of saving, investing and doing it early, learn the habit of discipline with money and this will pay off tremendously later in life.

28. Work out. Eat well. Go in nature. Take a long shower.
When things at work get really, really tough the first thing that will go out the window, will be your health habits. You will start eating out of stress, you will stop going to the gym regularly and not to mention walks in nature or other recreational activities. Your health will be the first one to pay the price when things get tough. So the same way as you must do with money - build yourself solid health habits. They should be the last thing to go, the last thing to sacrifice when work gets busy.

29. Time spent in adventure is never wasted.
Do the crazy trips, have the gaps in the resume and go on tours more often than you go on team buildings. You will look back at the travels and adventures you had with a smile and relief that you got to experience things, that you got to see new places, new cultures. Broaden your experiences, especially in your 30s and 40s when everyone is settling down. Adventure is the one thing that people in career coaching sessions often say they miss in their lives.

30. If all goes to hell, do not bottle down. Let your emotions out.
Intellectualising our anger and frustration is one of the most unhealthy things we do. And not only that, we are led to believe that people who can suppress or bypass their anger are somehow more mature, more evolved and better humans. Emotions have power. That power needs to be released. Yes, you may need to find an appropriate way - go to a safe space, punch a pillow, go to a boxing studio, but do let that anger out.  Emotions are energy. Anger is powerful energy and it needs to be released. Otherwise, we store and solidify it in our bodies.

     50 things about career that I wish I could tell my younger self... (31-40)

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