21. How to embrace changes...

​21.
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Change is inevitable. But the changes we initiate often have these 6 stages.

This is the Transtheoretical Model TTM (Prochaska &DiClemente) and describes the different stages each of us go through when we make changes in our behaviour. Although this framework seems quite straightforward, it is good to recognize that change is rarely linear.

We often go back and forth between these stages and also, often secretly criticize ourselves for not being disciplined enough, strong enough, motivated enough - you name it - to stick to the plan. A dose of self compassion goes a long way, this is where a coach can also be helpful.

1. Precontemplation: we are unaware or resistant to change. At this stage we also often minimise either the harm or the benefit of it.
   
2. Contemplation: we begin some research but we are not yet committed. We are weighing the pros and cons. We realize it will take energy and it will not be easy. We wonder - is it really worth it?
   
3. Preparation: we have talked ourselves into doing it. We put a plan, make it a goal, we feel committed. This is a common January energy.
   
4. Action: we begin, we start to do actions towards our goal, we use positive reinforcement to keep ourselves on track, we feel energized.
   
5. Maintenance: the going gets a little tougher and a little boring as we start making this change sustainable, this is where hard work really is.
   
6. Return or Outcome: we encounter something that pushes off balance - stress, trigger, tiredness, and we relapse. This is where we feel we are back at square one. But this is the pivot point. Time to reaffirm our motivation, be compassionate and lift ourselves up.
   

Every change journey may return here multiple times, it does not mean all the effort is in vain. Au contrary - we are already changing.

I get that, I have been there. Can we talk more about motivation?
              Definitely, we usually say there are two types of it.