23. THE ROLE OF SELF-SABOTAGE...

​23.

Change and self-sabotage: The greater the change, the higher the risk of facing it.

When we talk about change, we often encounter a powerful force - often within ourselves, and it is the inner saboteur.

It is that internal resistance that undermines our best efforts, even when we genuinely want to succeed. When we face it, we also tend to judge it, spiraling even lower into a negative view of ourselves. And the thing is - it is a perfectly normal part of us.

Our brain seeks harmony. When we have a certain image of ourselves and we start making actions in contrast to that image or belief, we create what we call cognitive dissonance. This mental tension is much higher than we recognise. So more often than not - we change our actions to match.

Self-sabotage can also be a defence mechanism, protecting us from potential disappointment or rejection. However, understanding this pattern is the first step toward overcoming it. Awareness and self-compassion allow us to see these behaviors without judgment. Once we identify our triggers, we can start shifting negative thought patterns and create healthier habits that support our goals.

When we work with sabotage - which may come in actions, in beliefs, in thoughts - it is good to recognise the patterns. Because once we change the pattern, we have tapped into transforming the cycle.

This is often a pivotal part in coaching, together we get to look into the patterns and commit to break them. Not easy. But definitely not impossible either. And always worth it.

I have heard you say defensiveness goes into many layers. Is that it?
         Yes, now we are moving towards talking about justification.